Has anyone died by
watching things sit
on water? By skipping
a flat rock across water?
Or trying to sit on water?
We are not birds.
Has anyone died before
seeing beautiful things
on the surface of a lake?
You. Did you at least get
a chance to look at the
clouds? Those balloons
won’t hold very long.
You don’t need oxygen
after passing the first
atmosphere. The balloon
will pop and you’ll be
Up There, waiting.
You’ll watch a bright dead
gas fall and take your place.
You will feel something
electric and soon your
bones will change from
white to blue. What used
to be your body will inflate
and glow. Nothing will be
able to touch you again.
Has anyone ever lived
through turning into concrete?
No, but it’s intense. I will
look up at you and rent a
light machine to send you
a message: I know you are
lonely right now
but I have ideas.

I Am Moving Into A New House & Flipping All Of The Lightswitches On To Prove That I Am Capable Of Being Alive by Beyza Ozer

but i do not feel alive & it’s taken me a few years to get here. the walkway is slippery with old tears & the front porch hasn’t stopped dripping blood for approximately eight days. who do i talk to about this? the government?

i did not ask to die this way. i’m wondering what kind of clothing my parents would bury me in. they would pick a dress even though i had asked multiple times to be cremated. mom PLEASE shoot my ashes into space. beyza, what kind of a daughter are you?

i don’t want worms in my veins. paper cuts on eyes are something i will never stop crying over. feeling sand in between my toes reminds me of fucked up summers. i do not feel alive & i don’t want to be dead.

no one wants to live here. no one wants to make a home in the back of my throat. i want ghosts for neighbors, in theory.